People tend to be private about their problems. Accepting the fact of being stuck with the same issue for a long time is sometimes hard to do. Men especially tend to have a hard time admitting they need help. Yes, it is the same thing that happens that keeps people who are lost from stopping to ask for directions. That feeling of “I can figure this out myself and I don’t need any help” comes up in personal and relationship issues and not just on road trips. This phenomenon might be more common in men but it is not really a gender issue. Sometimes our faith system says not to go to a counselor. Sometimes the training from our parents taught us to be self-reliant. Feeling shame for needing help is a common obstacle. 

With married couples, the most frequent and yet the most challenging issue is some kind of betrayal: infidelity, pornography, financial deceit, addiction, or something else that involves secrets, lies, deception. One partner experiences an emotional injury at the level of a trauma event. 

Depression and anxiety are the most frequent presenting problems in individual counseling. Whether an individual or a couple engages in online counseling, they will be met with empathy and a willingness to listen. There can be comfort and peace just from a person talking about their problem, their pain, their frustration, while someone listens with empathy. There are a number of techniques that can be implemented to help a client reduce the frequency of symptoms related to depression and anxiety. Homework between sessions can help a client to begin taking back their life (e.g., a day in the life, thought-stopping, deconstructing attributions, perspective taking, etc.).

The fear of people finding out you are in counseling has been a big barrier, historically. The stigma of being regarded as crazy, as unable to manage daily life, as weak, as unstable, and other diminishing labels keeps many people from seeking help. It is also common that religious and family enculturation has taught a person that to seek counseling means you lack faith or you are an embarrassment to your people. There are also barriers for some people seeking counseling in limited transportation, lack of funds, inability to take time off work, child care, just to name a few examples. Online counseling, using a HIPAA approved electronic platform, provides a high level of privacy, accessibility, and convenience.